Jealousy
by AbigailKinney4life
Summary: Harry Potter came out in his 2nd year following the death of his parents. Now he must deal with homophobia, school work, the loss of his parents and being madly in love with Cedric Diggory. Set in 3rd year, no Voldemort x
1. Chapter 1: Why do I do this?

Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.

Warnings: (Overall story) Slash, strong language, homophobia, some violence and some adult content.

A/N: So I was reading some Harry/Cedric fan fictions online and had the sudden urge to write one of my own. Hope you like, I would really appreciate it if you reviewed with your thoughts as this is my first HP fan fiction x This is set in Harry's third year and there is no Voldemort x

Chapter 1: Why do I do this?

Harry was staring at him again.

_Why do I do this? _He asked himself for the umpteenth time, but again, could not find an answer.

"Harry, what are you staring at?" Asked Hermione Granger, successfully pulling Harry out of his own thought process.

"N..nothing." He muttered quickly, turning back to face the Gryffindor table, it occurred to him that he should try and eat something.

"Well, anyway..." continued Hermione, "I was just saying that we should all go and see Hagrid later, and ask him about Buckbeak's trial..."

"That bloody git," said Ron, with venom in his voice, obviously referring to Draco Malfoy. "He's still wearing that cast! Nothing's wrong with him!"

"Are you coming, Harry?" Hermione pressed.

"Err...sure..." he answered immediately, but honestly he hadn't listened to a word of their conversation, instead, his gaze had wandered back to the Hufflepuff table, and more importantly, Cedric Diggory. Harry caught himself staring at Cedric _a lot._ He couldn't help it, Cedric was just too beautiful.

Harry loved the way the light danced on his light brown hair, or the way the slender muscles of his body would flex whenever he moved. Harry was completely infatuated with someone he had never spoken too and he knew it all too well.

Soon after, the bell for first lesson went, interrupting his ogling. Sighing heavily to himself, Harry picked up his book bag and made for the door, following Ron and Hermione. Hermione was walking briskly in front of him whilst Ron was dragging his feet.

Before they left the great hall, Harry snuck one last glance at the handsome Hufflepuff. Briefly wondering why he did this;

when he knew that Cedric Diggory would never be his.

...

Harry grudgingly stepped into the potions classroom and kept his head down as he made his way to his table. He already hated potions for many reasons, reason number one was the potions master, Professor Snape. Snape hated Harry with a vengeance and Harry had no idea why, and he would take any opportunity to deduct house points from Gryffindor. Even if Harry so much as sneezed.

Reason number two was the Slytherins, Gryffindor's and Slytherin's were mortal enemies by nature, and Slytherin's most evil student, Draco Malfoy, was the son of one of Harry's father's worst enemies, Lucius. Lucius and James had never liked each other since they were in Hogwarts, and their hatred was passed down to their children.

Harry still hung onto this because he somehow felt that that was what his father would have wanted. Harry tried to hang onto anything his father did, and his mother. Lily and James Potter had died almost two years ago. As they had both worked for the ministry, they had both been inside the ministry of magic when an escaped prisoner had burnt it down. Harry now lived with his godfather, Sirius Black, but he was still trying to come to terms with his parent's death. It didn't bother him so much now, but it did bother him.

In fact, that's what had prompted him to come out in his second year. His parent's had always wanted him to be honest, so he was honest. But he never expected the bullying to be as bad as it was; and that was the third reason why potions lesson's had become so unbearable.

"Hey, Potter, are you staring at me!" Goyle exclaimed.

"He probably fancies you." Said Malfoy.

"Ewwwww!" exclaimed Pansy Parkinson, revolted.

Harry kept his eyes to the ground as he joined Ron and Hermione at the table.

"Don't listen to them, Harry." Hermione told him, Harry smiled shallowly up at them, trying to prove it didn't affect him.

But it did.

"Alright, class-" began Snape in his nasally voice, "today we will be learning..."

"Professor!" Malfoy whined.

"What is it, Malfoy?" Asked Snape unenthusiastically.

Harry huffed, he knew that if he had been the one who had interrupted, he would be given detention.

"Potter keeps staring at me and it's making me uncomfortable!"

Harry clenched the sides of his desk with both hands, Hermione and Ron stared at him wearily. Snape overlooked Harry for a long moment. "10 points from Gryffindor."

Every person from the Gryffindor house began to protest in earnest.

"That's not fair!" Began Ron, "Harry didn't do anything..."

"Be quiet, Mr. Weasley, or I will give you detention." Said Snape in a hard voice.

"But..." continued Ron, having none of it.

"Don't, Ron," said Harry, "It doesn't matter." Continued Harry, staring at the floor dejectedly. There was no reason for Ron to get himself into trouble because Malfoy made a snide comment.

After all, Harry was used to it.

...

As soon as the bell for the end of lesson went, Harry bolted from the classroom without so much as a word to Ron or Hermione. He wasn't upset, he just needed to be alone.

He didn't go to the great hall for dinner like everyone else, he began to walk lazily through the corridors of Hogwarts, not thinking about anything in particular. It occurred to him that next weekend the third years would be able to go to Hogsmeade for the first time; and thinking about this cheered Harry up greatly. He finally began to feel better and decided to join his friends in the great hall, but it was when he turned a corner to make his way to the great hall that his heart plummeted to the ground.

It occurred to Harry that if he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve he might not get hurt so much, but then it also occurred to him that he wouldn't get hurt if Cedric Diggory and his stupid girlfriend Cho Chang didn't snog each other openly in the corridor.

Harry quickly turned before they could discover him and walked in the other direction, but he couldn't get the image of _his _Cedric, kissing someone else.

His stomach began to knot up and very soon he was feeling quite sick, and as that familiar and consuming feeling engulfed him, Harry wondered why he did this.

He knew this feeling well;

It was jealously.


	2. Chapter 2: My saviour

Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.

Warnings: Contains a homophobic insult.

Chapter 2: My saviour

_Oh my God! He looked at me! _

Harry was practically skipping down the corridor of Hogwarts, lost inside his own little bubble of happiness. He didn't even notice Ron and Hermione giving him strange looks.

"Err...mate-" began Ron tentatively, "are you alright?"

Harry looked to his two best friends with a giant smile fixed on his face. "Of course I am." He answered, before walking off in front of them and leaving them both confused.

Harry felt on top of the world. He knew he shouldn't have, and he knew he was making a big deal over nothing, but it still made him smile like a...well, like a school boy.

Cedric had looked at him, across the breakfast tables. Harry had been looking over to the Hufflepuff table and Cedric had caught his eye. Harry was momentarily scared, and embarrassed. When the whole school knew you were gay it wasn't good to be caught staring at the school's most handsome male student, and he knew he should have looked away immediately.

But something about Cedric's grey eyes kept him there. Harry briefly wondered if Cedric cared about his sexuality? Maybe it didn't bother him, or maybe he simply didn't mind. Harry wished for that. He wished that Cedric looked and saw Harry Potter. Not gay Harry Potter.

And then, Cedric smiled at him. A small smile; a greeting smile. Harry smiled back, and he hoped it constituted as a friendly smile and not a smile that said; I love you, marry me.

Cedric had a lovely smile, one of those sunshine smiles that lit up the day. When Harry had turned back to the Gryffindor table, he had simply lay his head on his hands and sighed contently, earning a few strange looks, but he didn't care.

But as he walked ahead of Ron and Hermione in the corridor and rational thought began to return to him, it occurred to Harry that he really wanted someone to talk to about Cedric. Someone to moan too, not in a girly way, but it was like a secret and he wanted to get it off of his chest, to someone who would understand.

He snuck a quick glance back to Ron and Hermione, wondering if he should divulge this information to them, but something was telling him not to. He wasn't exactly sure why, they were both fine with Harry's sexual orientation; in fact, they had both known before he'd told the school. But if they knew that he harboured a soft spot for the school "pretty boy", he knew he'd be under a torrent of endless jokes and questioning.

He wanted to speak to someone who wasn't a student, and who knew more about life, someone outside of Hogwarts, someone that would never judge a book by its cover...

The answer to this question seemed so simple that Harry mentally kicked himself for not thinking it immediately.

Sirius.

Sirius would never judge Harry, not about anything. Harry loved Sirius as if he were his own father, and had even told his godfather he was gay before he told his own parents. Despite Lily and James's eventual acceptance, there had still been months of; "you're too _young _to know what you are!"

It had been Sirius who had stepped in to defend Harry, saying that Harry knew who he was and he was right to embrace it. Harry and Sirius had formed a trust after that, and Harry trusted Sirius more than anyone else he knew, even more than Ron and Hermione, even more than Dumbledore.

Quickly making his decision, Harry turned back to his best friends.

"Hey, guys, I'm gonna go up to the Owlery, send Sirius a letter." He explained quickly.

"Oh, do you want us to come with you?" Asked Ron, but Harry could see the sacrifice behind those words; Ron didn't want to miss dinner.

"No, you two go, I won't be long," Harry brushed off, glad his friends wouldn't be joining him, he would hate it if one of them read the letter he was planning to write to Sirius. He didn't want his friends to laugh at him for having a silly school boy crush. "I need to see Hedwig anyway."

"Well, give Sirius our love." Said Hermione, waving as the two of them made their way to the great hall, Harry returned the wave.

"Will do."

...

_Luck, _Harry decided. The owlery was empty. Or maybe it was because nobody wanted to miss half of their dinner to send a letter.

Harry walked across the owlery until he spotted a snowy white owl perched on one of the far walls, Harry smiled as he walked over to Hedwig. She turned her head and immediately flew over to Harry and perched neatly on his shoulder.

"Hey, Hedwig." Harry smiled in greeting, Hedwig nipped his shoulder affectionately.

Harry sat down and retrieved a quill, some ink and a piece of parchment from his school bag, and laid them down next to him, he liked sitting crossed legged on the floor with all of the owls surrounding him.

He dipped the quill into the ink and let it hover over the parchment for a long moment, suddenly unsure what to write. He didn't know how to explain this situation to his godfather, Harry sighed and began writing, simply hoping the words would come.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I hope you're okay, I'm fine, everything here is fine._

_Well, almost everything. I'm getting loads of stick from Malfoy about being...you' no. And I guess I really miss Mum and Dad right now, I'm not sure why, I guess it's because every time someone laughs at me because of my sexuality I remember that I came out for Mum and Dad. But I'm not unhappy, that's not why I'm writing to you._

_I think I've developed a...crush, so to speak, on one of the boys in my school and I'm not sure what to do about it. His name is Cedric Diggory, and he's in Hufflepuff. I didn't want to tell Ron and Hermione because I figured they'd laugh at me and I know that you never would. I'm just not sure whether I should approach him about it, I don't even think he knows my name! _

_I'm really confused and I really wanted to talk to you about this._

_Ron and Hermione send their love, and I hope everything is okay at your end._

_Love, Harry._

Harry quickly re-read his letter and, satisfied, he coaxed Hedwig off of his shoulder and tied the letter to her leg. As Harry watched her fly off into the sky he had a moment in which he wished he could join her.

After a few long moments, Harry turned to the owlery entrance , deciding to join his friends in the great hall, but he was stopped as someone walked through the entrance, blocking his path, a scowl immediately set into Harry's face.

"Hi, Harry!" Said Cho in her usual cheery voice, Harry nodded curtly at her and walked straight past her without a word. She stared after him confusedly.

...

All the next day, Harry was still in a mood at seeing Cho. He was angry with her cheery disposition, the way she smiled at him so happily while she was tearing his heart to shreds.

He slumped against his desk and scowled at the floor in transfiguration, not even bothering to answer his best friends' questions. They were probably wondering why Harry's moods were changing so drastically in the last few days.

"Now, before we begin today's lesson-" began Mcgonagol , addressing the class. "I would like to remind you to hand in your forms for the Hogsmeade trip to your head of years at break time today..."

Harry's mood immediately perked up, he was looking forward to Hogsmeade, to getting out of the castle and having a little fun.

"Remember," continued the professor, "your forms must be filled out by a parent or guardian..." she turned to Harry at this, "Potter, did you ask Sirius to fill yours out?"

Harry was about to reply with a "yes", but was cut of my the sneer that was Draco Malfoy.

"Oh, Potter can't go! His parents are dead!"

About half of the class gasped aloud, and all happiness in Harry suddenly drowned away. He didn't even have the will power to respond, he simply stared at the floor dejectedly, not evening bothering to hide his tears.

Unfortunately, all eyes were on him so everybody saw, nearly all of Slytherin burst into raucous laughter, lead by Malfoy.

"50 POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!" Mcgonagol thundered and everyone immediately turned to see her, red in the face with rage.

Malfoy's smirk immediately left his lips. "But..."

"Not another word!" She thundered, "Mr. Malfoy, you will join me this evening for detention!"

Malfoy scowled in Harry's direction whilst Harry, Ron and Hermione shared a smile, sharing their small victory.

...

When Harry, Ron and Hermione left the classroom at the end of lesson, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were waiting for them.

"Oi, Potter!" Malfoy called, spitting rage, walking after them.

"Just walk." Hermione whispered urgently, and the trio didn't look back.

"HEY! HOMO! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Harry immediately turned back to Malfoy, if one thing got to Harry above all else it was homophobia, he walked back to Malfoy with anger in his eyes.

"You got me detention!" Malfoy thundered, venom in his voice.

"Whatever, Malfoy." Said Harry icly, turning on his heel to walk away. But he should have never turned his back, because what he didn't see was Malfoy whip his wand out of his robes and point it directly at Harry, muttering a curse so low no one could hear it.

Before Harry knew it, he was flying off his feet, suspended into the air for a split second before falling back to Earth and hitting his head on the concrete floor, hard. He didn't even have time to call out in shock.

"HARRY!"

"HARRY!"

Called Ron and Hermione, but Harry could barely hear them, he could barely hear anything, and his vision was blurry; all he could think of was the pain.

"Expelliarmus!" A new voice called out strongly, surprising everyone. Malfoy's wand flew out of his hand and skidded across the floor. "Get lost, Malfoy!" The new voice continued in anger, Malfoy recoiled in shock.

Ron, Hermione, Crabbe and Goyle stared at the exchange between the two people in pure shock, Harry still was unaware of anything but the throbbing in his head, he covered his head in his hands and stayed on the ground.

Malfoy and his cronies turned on his heal and stomped off, obeying the instruction without a word.

Ron and Hermione then watched the saviour turn to Harry and bend down next to him, in complete shock.

Harry could barely see anything, head still stinging from the impact of the floor, but he could blearily make out a lean figure bending down beside him, he looked up and met a pair of worry-filled eyes.

"Harry, are you okay?" Asked Cedric.


	3. Chapter 3: Contemplating

Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters; they belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.

Chapter 3: Contemplating

Harry would have blushed if he wasn't in so much pain; he felt immediately embarrassed and tried to turn away. He moaned softly as he moved, his voice muffled by the concrete.

"Harry?" Cedric asked, more softly. Using a slender finger he brushed Harry's raven hair from his eyes, trying to get a look.

"I think he's concussed," Cedric decided, genuine worry in his voice. He turned to Ron and Hermione, "what happened?"

"Malfoy was pissed that Mcgonagol gave him detention." Said Ron.

Cedric's brow furrowed. "Why would that mean He wanted to hex Harry?"

"Malfoy was making remarks about Harry's...Harry's parents..." Hermione stammered, "So Malfoy thought..."

"That Harry deserved to be punished." Cedric finished the disgust evident in his voice. He turned back to Harry. "Harry, can you hear me?" Harry nodded slowly, feeling the throbbing in his head.

Cedric nodded assertively, "listen, Harry, I'm not gonna hurt you...just trust me." And before Harry could process anything, Cedric had swept Harry off of his feet and into his arms; if Harry weren't concussed he would have believed his birthday had come early. Cedric turned to Ron and Hermione.

"Would you tell his next teacher that he won't be in lesson?" He asked, Ron and Hermione nodded weakly.

Cedric nodded once in thanks and turned on his heel to walk in the opposite direction, making sure the boy was safe in his arms. Harry had instinctively snuggled into Cedric's chest, he felt oddly safe there; protected.

"Where...where are you taking him?" Asked Hermione.

Cedric turned back to her, "the hospital wing," he informed her as if it were obvious, "he hit his head pretty hard." And with that, he again turned on his heel and walked in the direction of the hospital wing, making sure he moved steady enough so Harry wouldn't get hurt or nauseous, the boy was a lot lighter than Cedric would have suspected.

"Oh, my lord! What happened?" Madam Pomfrey cried as soon as Cedric entered the hospital wing.

"A hex threw him to the ground." Cedric explained immediately, "he's conscious but I think he's concussed."

Madam Pomfrey indicated a bed for Cedric t place Harry on, which Cedric did with the utmost tenderness.

"Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey asked, "Can you hear me?"

Harry gave a soft moan to indicate that he could and Madam Pomfrey turned to Cedric. "Who hexed him?"

"Draco Malfoy..." said Cedric quickly, "is he gonna be okay?"

"Are you friends with this boy?"

"Err...not really," Cedric replied, "I just wanna know if he's gonna be..."

"Then off with you, leave him with me," Madam Pomfrey instructed, turning back to her patient.

Against his better judgement, Cedric turned away from Harry's hospital bed and walked out of the hospital wing. As he walked to his Potions class, Cedric had to fight the urge to run back to the hospital wing. He _needed _to know if Harry was going to be okay. Cedric shuddered as he wondered what might have happened to the boy if he hadn't have been there to intervene.

...

Ron and Hermione raced to the hospital wing later that day, once their final lesson was over they had skipped dinner and headed straight to see Harry. Hermione had suggested asking to see if Cedric wanted to join them. Ron, however, had hated the idea.

"Just because he stepped and stopped Malfoy doesn't mean he actually cares." Ron pointed out.

"Well, then, why would he step in?" Hermione retorted.

"Duh, 'cause he wants to be Prefect..."

"Can I help you two?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

Ron and Hermione recoiled in shock at her sudden appearance at the entrance to the hospital wing, she eyed the pair with a stern gaze. "Why are you students not at dinner?"

"We came to visit Harry," Ron informed her, "Harry Potter, he was brought in earlier."

She nodded. "I see, you may see him for a short while, he needs his rest."

"What was wrong with him?" Hermione asked quickly, hoping it wasn't serious. Harry had been in the hospital wing all day, after all.

"He has a mild concussion and a minor head wound," the nurse informed them, "he needs plenty of bed rest and no exerting himself."

Ron and Hermione thanked her and then entered the hospital wing. Harry was the only patient in there, he had a thin bandage around his head and was picking at a plate of food on the bedside table behind him. His facial expression was one of boredom, not pain.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

Harry immediately looked over and a smile spread across his face as he saw his two best friends.

"Ron, Hermione!" He grinned, "thank god you're here, I've been really bored all day!"

Ron and Hermione shared a grin and then walked over to Harry's bedside. Hermione sat on one of the chairs allocated for visiting whilst Ron perched on the end of Harry's bed.

"How are you feeling, mate?" He asked.

Harry sighed and scratched his head. "My heads kinda sore, I guess." He informed them, "Madam Pomfrey says I have a concussion."

Hermione nodded. "You hit that concrete really hard."

Harry glanced up at his friends. "What...happened?" He asked. "I know Malfoy hexed me, but did I imagine that Cedric was there?"

"Harry, Cedric was there." Hermione told him, and Harry could feel the blush growing on his cheeks. "Did he stop Malfoy?"

"Harry, he saved you!" Hermione exclaimed whilst Ron huffed.

"What?" Asked Harry disbelievingly, sitting up straighter in the hospital bed. "He did?"

Hermione nodded vigourously, "he picked you up and carried you to the hospital wing!"

"Really?" Asked Harry, his whole body flushing with pleasure.

"I have to admit-" began Ron, "the way he handled Malfoy really was something, Malfoy just ran."

Harry tried to conceal his smile of pleasure from his best friends. The logical part of his brain knew that Cedric would have helped anyone, but he couldn't help feeling indescribebly special.

...

Harry entered the great hall for breakfast the next day, feeing a lot better than the previous. Granted, his head still throbbed, but not nearly as much as it had been. Harry tried to avoid Malfoys gaze as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, but before he could even take a step an all too familiar voice called his attention.

"Potter!" Harry turned on his heel immediately to see Cedric Diggory rushing towards him, he had an almost fear in his deep grey eyes. Harry wondered if he was imagining it.

"Are you okay?" He asked immediately. Harry couldn't seem to get the words out.

"Err...I'm...I'm fine." He said shakily, and then he tried to smile, "why wouldn't I be?"

Cedric's forehead creased in confusion. "Malfoy hexed you."

"Oh...yeah." Harry remembered, and then suddenly felt like an idiot, something about Cedric's presence made him lose himself.

"Thank you." Harry said finally, "Ron and Hermione told me...that you saved me."

Cedric shifted on his feet rather uncomfortably, "you're welcome," he said finally, "I'm just glad you're okay."

Harry smiled slightly and went to walk away until Cedric stopped him with his hand. The contact made Harry's skin buzz. He forced himself to look into Cedric's eyes.

"Your friends told me why Malfoy attacked you," said Cedric quickly, "and I just want you to know that I don't...what I mean to say is that it doesn't matter to me what..."

"Cedric?" Asked Harry softly, finding it completely adorable that Cedric was tripping over his sentences.

Cedric looked directly at Harry; he appeared to have composed himself. "I was wondering if you wanted me to teach you...self defence, that is."

Harry was confused at this sudden change of pace, that's not what he had expected Cedric to say at all.

"Why?" Asked Harry.

"Because of this kind of thing is...common...for you, then you need to know how to protect yourself. I'd be willing to teach you." Said Cedric confidently.

Harry stared at him, half-contemplating telling Cedric he didn't need any help and yet, half-contemplating being able to spend a lot of time alone with Cedric Diggory.


	4. You taught me what pain feels like

Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while guys, just been really busy. Hope you like the next update x

Chapter 4: You taught me what pain feels like

Harry sat down slowly at the breakfast table without a word to anyone and just stared, he didn't reach for anything to eat or drink. Ron and Hermione shuffled up to sit next to him and shared an anxious glance with each other.

"Hey, Harry!" Fred and George called over in unison, getting Harry's attention. Harry's head snapped up to them. "How are you feeling, mate?" George asked.

"Ron told us what that git did." Fred added.

"I'm fine, really." Harry said, attempting a small smile, "it's nothing, really."

"Are you sure you're okay, Harry?" Hermione asked quietly, "you still look rather dazed."

"I really am okay," Harry assured them, "I was just...thinking about something..."

"Thinking about what?" Asked Ron, stuffing a sausage into his mouth.

"About-" began Harry, "-whether or not to start learning self-defense." He admitted honestly, thinking about Cedric's offer.

"Why would you want to learn that?" Asked Ron, perplexed.

"Because," began Harry, half-shrugging and pulling some pumpkin juice towards him. "People are always coming after me 'cause I'm gay, and because I've got not parents to defend me..." he snorted slightly, "I'm just getting kinda annoyed of taking it."

"Harry, you're just still freaked about what happened yesterday." Said Hermione reasonable. "You just need to give yourself some time to calm down..."

"Yeah, and how long before that happens again?" Harry retorted angrily, "am I supposed to just sit around and hope Malfoy doesn't hex me? Cedric isn't gonna be around everytime someone decides to have a go!"

Hermione looked slightly taken aback. "I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm just trying to be logical."

Harry sighed and looked down slightly. "I know, Hermione. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry, I'm just getting tired of not being able to look after myself."

"Listen, mate-" began Ron, "-if you are, genuinely scared of this sort of thing happening again, then you should do what you think is right."

"Ron!" Hermione berated crossly, hitting him on the arm.

"Ow!" Ron exlaimed, pulling his arm back. "What was that for?" He asked Hermione, annoyed.

"For putting ideas into his head!" Said Hermione, "if people know that Harry is learning self-defense it's just more reason for them to come after him!"

"Why would anyone need to know?" Asked Harry, confused.

"Who would you ask, anyway?" Ron asked Harry, ignoring Hermione. "Lupin?" Ron asked, refuring to their defense against the dark arts professor. Not only was Lupin an amazing teacher but he was also a close friend of Harry's dad and Sirius.

Harry opened his mouth, ready to tell his best friends that Cedric had offered to teach him everything he needed to know, but before the words came out something suddenly occured to him. If he told Ron and Hermione about Cedric offering to help him, the most likely thing to happen would be for Hermione to start giggling like a childish school girl, and Ron would just get annoyed like he always did when the Hufflepuff was mentioned.

So instead, Harry shut his mouth. "I suppose," he mumbled.

"Harry, you know I trust your judgement," Hermione told him, ignoring his sudden lack of enthusiasm, "so if Professor Lupin can help you, then you should try. I just want you to be careful."

"Thanks, Hermione." Said Harry, trying his best to smile. He then looked away from his two best friends and ate his breakfast in silence.

...

At lunch time that day, Harry didn't go to meet his friends like usual, he just decided to walk around aimlessly. He didn't know why, he didn't really know what to do with himself.

He hated that he had kept a secret from Ron and Hermione, he was supposed to be able to tell them anything. So why did he feel like they wouldn't understand?

He just didn't think he could tell them that what he felt for Cedric went beyond a girly crush. Why would Cedric save him, and offer to help him if he didn't care about him?

Harry was so confused, he didn't know what he was supposed to feel. He just didn't know what to do, he wished Sirius would just write back soon.

Then, suddenly, Harry knew what would make him feel better. He'd go up to the Owlery and see Hedwig, he hadn't been to visit his beloved owl for a long time.

As Harry walked up the stairs to the Owlery he couldn't hear any voices, meaning the Owlery would be empty, Harry was glad for this, he just needed to be alone.

But as Harry turned the corner and walked into the Owlery, he suddenly realised how wrong he was. Stood in the Owlery, bent down stroking a hazel owl, was none other than Cedric Diggory. The one person Harry desperately wanted to see but also wanted to avoid at all costs.

Harry briefly contemplated quickly leaving before Cedric had the chance to see him, but he was too late.

"Potter!" Cedric greeted, looking up at Harry. Harry saw that Cedric was smiling, Cedric really was beautiful when he smiled...

"Hey, " Harry greeted back, smiling too. "I didn't think you'd be up here." He said stupidly.

Cedric shrugged slightly. "Well, it didn't look like anyone was up here, so I thought I'd come for some peace and quiet."

Harry felt like an idiot for feeling strangely happy that he and Cedric had had the same idea.

"Well, I can go if you want..." He suggested, gesturing to the door.

"Not at all," said Cedric, beckoning Harry forward. "I don't own the Owlery." He grinned. "I was actually hoping to run into you."

"You were?" Asked Harry, pretending his heart didn't skip a beat.

"Yeah," began Cedric, "I was wondering if you'd given my offer any more thought."

"Oh," said Harry, suddenly remembering. He quickly composed himself. "Err...yeah, I have. And...I want to take you up on your offer." He said quickly.

Cedric nodded. "I'm glad," he said, "I didn't want to think that you're unprotected."

Why would Cedric say something like that? Harry thought to himself, confused.

"Well, I'll let you know when I've got some free time," Cedric told him, "and we'll start lessons then."

Harry couldn't help smiling at him. "Okay."

...

Harry and Ron were talking about their transfiguration homework as they sat down at the Gryffindor table at dinner that night, they slid in next to Hermione, who had just come from muggle studies.

"Hi Harry, Hi Ron." Hermione greeted. "Have you spoken to Professor Lupin yet?" Hermione asked abruptly.

"Err...why?" Asked Harry, confused at the sudden interrogation.

"You weren't there at lunch," Ron shrugged, "we figured you went to see him."

"Oh, err...yeah, I did." Harry lied, feeling terrible. "He said he'd teach me."

Before Ron and Hermione had the chance to reply, the same hazel owl Harry saw Cedric stroking earlier flew down to the table and dropped a note infront of Harry. Confused, Harry picked up the note and opened it.

Meet me in the Astronomy tower after dinner,

C

Harry suddenly felt strangely excited and couldn't wait for dinner to be over. He looked up to Ron and Hermione's bemused expressions and just smiled hugely at them.

...

As Harry made his way to the Astronomy tower after dinner, he couldn't shake the excited feeling from him stomach. He had so many questions. The biggest at this point was what was Cedric going to teach him? Harry was briefly worried about it, he wondered if everything Cedric knew was way to advanced for him and he was just gonna fail it all and embaress himself.

Harry couldn't seem to shake another feeling in his stomach either. Cedric seemed to really care about him, and he kept saying little things that made Harry wonder...did Cedric like him? Could Cedric like him?

As he approached the tower, Harry's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of giggling, of a girl giggling.

Confused, Harry walked up the steps and nearly vomited right there at what he saw. Cedric was there all right, but then so was Cho Chang, and they were both huddled in a close embrace like before. Not only did Harry feel the painful jealousy in his stomach, but he also felt every hope he had about Cedric being shattered into nothing.

"Oh, hey, Potter!" Said Cedric, grinning. "Glad you could make it, you don't mind Cho being here, do you?"

Before Cedric could say anything else, Harry ran from the room, trying not to be sick. Harry could hear Cedric's voice trailing after him.

"Hey, Potter! Potter!"

But Harry didn't stop running.


	5. Chapter 5: Being alone together

Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to their respective owners.

A/N: Hey, guys, sorry for not uploading in a while. I was thinking long and hard about this story, and I have decided to take it somewhere else than where I had originally decided. Hope you enjoy x

Chapter 5: Being alone together

_Potter, Potter...Potter!_

Harry couldn't get Cedric's shouts out of his brain as he leant against the cold stone wall, breathing heavily. He was breathing heavily partially because he had just run away at full pelt, but mainly because of the sight that he had just been met with...

Cedric and Cho...together...

_Why would he do that?_ Harry found himself fuming, _why would he bring her when he's planning to spend time with me...?_

Then that crushing, shattering feeling dawned on him again, Cedric didn't want to spend time with him, he was offering to give Harry lessons on self defence because Malfoy had beaten him up...

Harry hadn't realised until this moment just how embarrassing that was... he had given up dignity just to spend time with Cedric...Cedric who was older and beautiful and...straight.

"Potter, there you are!" Cedric suddenly startled him, turning the corner and finding Harry leaning against the wall. Harry felt his cheeks go red as he realised how stupid he must look.

"Potter, what happened just there?" Cedric asked, sounding genuinely concerned, "was it Cho? I could have just asked her to leave..."

Harry fought an internal battle with himself and forced himself to put a happy smile on his face, the excuse he was about to give wasn't one he even believed but it might work.

"Oh, sorry, Diggory. I just forgot one of my books, and I was running to get it. Sorry if you got the wrong idea."

"Oh," said Cedric, giving Harry a look that suggested he wasn't expecting that at all. Cedric didn't answer Harry for a long moment as the cogs in his brain turned quickly. "Oh." He repeated dumbly, "I thought something was wrong."  
>"No, nothings wrong." Sunny smile still in place, Harry wasn't even convincing himself with this disaster of a lie, he didn't believe for a moment that Cedric believed him, Cedric wasn't an idiot. But even if Cedric didn't believe him he didn't say anything.<p>

"Well, um...if you get your book, then we can get on with the, err...lesson. I've asked Cho to leave."

Harry felt his heart leap for a moment, he felt himself losing himself in the fantasy of him and Cedric in the astronomy tower all by themselves...but then he forced himself out of it.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I want these lessons any more."

"What?" Asked Cedric, looking completely surprised. "I thought...you wanted to get Malfoy off of your back?"

"I do," Harry assured him, "and I'm really grateful for your offer, but I don't think I need it." He hated saying this, he really did. But before he was pinning after something that was never gonna happen, and he had never felt like more of an idiot. He needed to get out now before Cedric became more than an obsessive crush...before he convinced himself that he...

"I...need to get back to Ron and Hermione," Harry mumbled quietly, before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Okay." Cedric agreed, sounding oddly crushed. But Harry tried not to look back.

…

Harry tried not to feel oddly dejected the next day, it was his decision to not spend time with Cedric. But it still made him feel terrible.

He kept telling himself that he was being the bigger person here, that he parents wouldn't want him spending time pinning after something non-existent.

Besides, Cedric was only a boy at his school...he wasn't that important...

That's what Harry kept telling himself, anyway.

"You alright, Harry?" Asked Ron at breakfast the next day, looking at Harry worriedly. "You seem really quiet."

"Nah," Harry brushed off, shrugging slightly. "I'm just thinking."

"Thinking." Hermione snorted sarcastically, "about your transfiguration homework?"

Harry found himself grinning despite himself, "I'd never let you down like that Hermione."

Hermione rolled his eye at him, "well, what are you thinking about, then?"

Harry dropped his smile a little bit. "Mum and Dad." He admitted honestly, "what they'd want me to do with my life and all that."

Hermione smiled at him sympathetically and Ron clapped him on the back reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Harry." Hermione told him, smiling slightly. "I'm sure your parents trust that you'll get exactly what you're looking for."

"Oh, Diggory is looking for you." Ron chimed in randomly, reaching over the table for some more sausages.

"What?" Asked Harry immediately.

"I dunno," Ron shrugged, "he stopped me in the corridor this morning and told me that he needed to speak to you asap, he sounded pretty worried about something."

"Where did he tell you he wanted to meet me?" Harry asked, completely in his fantasy-world again.

"Err..." Ron cast his mind back, trying to remember. "The library, I think. Said it was quiet there," Ron snorted, "what the hell does he want to tell you?"

"No idea," Harry answered quietly albeit honestly, but Harry thought he had a pretty good idea.

Cedric had worked out Harry had been lying to him the previous day and knew that he fancied him, he was gonna tell Harry he was disgusted at him and...

"When did he want to see me?" Harry gulped, trying to rid his mind of these thoughts, it didn't help to get himself worked up.

"After dinner," said Ron absent-mindedly, "I think."

Harry found himself rolling his eyes, but his stomach still shook with that terrifying worry. He had to wait the whole day to ease it, too.

…

Harry walked into the mostly deserted Library alone and slowly that evening, he had been worrying himself with the results of this meeting all day, and he had no idea what to expect when he saw Cedric.

Harry walked through some of the old bookshelves at the back of the library but couldn't seem to find Cedric anywhere.

Maybe he hadn't showed?

Maybe Harry could just leave and say he'd forgotten all about it...?

"Potter."

Harry swivelled around on one foot, completely startled, not appreciating people sneaking up on him. He saw Cedric standing there in the dim light from the window, the sun setting around them. Cedric looked solemn, but Harry thought it would be stupid to question it, he instead plastered that same fake smile onto his face and greeted Cedric enthusiastically.

"Hey, Diggory. You wanted to see me?"

Cedric replied to Harry with one swift, curt nod and before Harry knew it, Cedric had dragged him to the very back of the library, where there was barely any light aside from a single candle, and where even the vulture eyes of Madame Pince couldn't find them. Harry didn't know why but he found himself breathing heavily, he found himself almost afraid.

"Diggory?" He asked slowly, "what's wrong?"

"I know why you ran yesterday." He finally replied, and Harry felt all the muscles in his stomach tense up. "You ran because of Cho."

"Cedric...I..." Harry tried to explain immediately, but Cedric lifted a hand to silence him, Harry fell silent.

"I was worried for a while, before I figured it out." Cedric told Harry, stepping forward, looking less solemn now, looking more like himself, "but when I did, it was the best news you could have given me."

"Why?" Asked Harry, mind filled with confusion.

Cedric sighed. "Harry," he began, "the only reason I brought Cho to the Astronomy tower was because I didn't think I would be able to cope with just us being there, and I didn't offer to help you because I felt sorry for you."

Harry felt the breath get caught in his throat, Cedric was so close now...Harry didn't understand...

"I want you to understand why I wouldn't be able to cope with just us alone," Cedric breathed, leaning in, "I want to show you..."

"Cedric..." Harry just about managed before every one of his thoughts dissolved into nothing, and Harry felt Cedric press his soft lips gently to his own...


End file.
